‘Twas two days before Towel Day

Twas two days before Towel Day, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The towels were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Ford or Zaphod, soon would be there.

The hoopys were nestled all snug in their towels,
While peanuts and beer, shared with laughter and howls.
And Trillian in her fromple, and Marvin with a cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long evening nap.

In the Primary Phase there arose such a clatter,
The Earth got blown up, as if it didn’t matter.
Away to the window Arthur flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

They destroyed his house, his planet and so
Arthur and Ford hitched a ride like two bros
When, what to Arthur’s wondering eyes should appear,
A horrible green, slug-like, Vogons poetic sneer.

Out of the air lock, hug-less they got thrown
Yet Improbability said something, they should have known:
“Come forth, out of thin air, my ship with a heart of gold”
And save these poor bastards, truth be told.

“Hey hoopy cousin, what are you doing here?”
Asked Zaphod to Ford, nonchalant and without fear.
“Oh this and that, saved a human and such”
Replied Ford coolly, without revealing that much.

A quest for “The Ultimate Answer” was shortly started
With the Magratheans, a whale and petunias shortly parted.
Promises of fame, fortune and a cup of hot tea
Milliways and talking cows is what they would see.

And then, in the confusion, while Vogons attack
They had a séance which seemed rather whack.
“Go forth and find the Ruler of the Universe” he said
He saved them, split the pack even though he was dead.

A rainy shack, an old man, a cat and some fish
“Here puss-puss” he said while getting the cats dish
They asked him questions, to which he just shrugged no
After all, your perceptions shapes your world so.

Don’t forget, Gargevarr and his Total Perspective Vortex
Who plugged the universe into Zaphod’s cerebral cortex
His mind was supposed to be totally blown
But, alas, it showed him that nothing was more important than his own.

The Golgafrinchans, The Captain and Great Circling Poets of Arium, HAIL!
Who all played a part in this epic tale
Fenchurch, Hactar and Hotblack Desiato
In every direction, this story flowed.

The future, the past, the present and more
Never before, has the world read a story to gafaw
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
D N Adams gave us the best thing since bread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the paper, with words turned quirk
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a wink, to world-wide fame he rose!

Sadly, this Vogon poem stops with a whistle
Cup your ear with your hand to hear the light drizzle.
As McKenna drives past you on that quiet day
And you whip out your copy of The Guide, laughing all the way.

So grab your towel, on this great and awesome day
Salute the master of comedy, science and music I say
This legend will always be a part of my mind
I just wish he was here to witness his kind.


(Written by Zaptoid – 23/05/2013)